Online Comments and Discussion

Pretisha Reddy: 21/04/2013

Pretisha I am very interested to see where you take your argument. I think you have picked a topic that has great potential if you portray it in the right way. Wikipedia is obviously a great website that a lot of people use on a regular basis but from what I have experienced it is not a source that should be relied on when gathering information used for academic purposes. From what I can tell from your introduction it seems as though you don’t really have a clear opinion for or against this argument. You have mentioned that Wikipedia is a mostly reliable source and that you like to use it; however you have then also mentioned that it is hard to distinguish which information is true and which information is false. It will be great to see how your argument progresses throughout the brief once you have a clear opinion.

Patrick Scott: 22/04/2013

I think you have picked a really interesting topic to argue and it is great to see that you have come up with a strong viewpoint as to the fact that you believe that violent media plays a role in violent behaviour. I personally don’t agree nor disagree with your argument however I think there are a lot of viewpoints on the topic. I have played call of duty, grand theft auto etc for fun before, however I have never played properly. Obviously there is a sense of power you get from these games when you are playing them and I think you are right when you say that this does not influence violent behaviour as in I have never seriously consider actually killing someone simply for the fun of it as a result of playing violent video games. You have mentioned that you feel repetition of killing people is blurring the lines between reality and fantasy. I disagree with this statement, like most teenage boys my brothers and friends etc have all gone through stages in their lives where they have played such games excessively and I don’t think this has affected their behaviour in real life in any way, so it will be interesting to see if you can come up with any strong evidence to prove otherwise. You have obviously done quite a lot of research on this topic already and you have already produced a substantial amount of fact in relation to your topic. It may be more convincing for us as the audience to see these facts in their actual from via hyperlinks.

Matthew Samin: 22/04/2013

I love the fact that you have come up with such a unique topic and it is definitely an argument that I have never heard anything about before. I have never really been into art as in painting and drawing etc so I’m wondering what you are defining as art when you say ‘artistic works’ ‘piece of art’? I guess the subject ‘art’ is quite broad so it will be interesting to see where you take your argument. I like your introduction; I think it is well written, clear and to the point.  Given the word limit it is great to see you have left room from a substantial argument.

Alex Woodward: 22/04/2013

I think the topic you have chosen is very interesting. Woman being poorly and/or disproportionately represented in the genre of video games is certainly a topic I have never put too much though into so I’m really interested to see where you take your argument. I think you have produced a great introduction which has clearly outlined where you intend to take your blog.

Ronal Reddy: 22/04/13

Wow you have already written a considerable amount of your blog, almost the entire word limit. I think your topic should the voting age be lowered to 16 is a great one and it is subject that would no doubt affect us all if it were given the go ahead. You have already gathered a lot of information and I like that you have made good use of this information by using hyperlinks. It looks like you may have had a late subject change as you also have a large amount of information regarding the importance of conservation, as well as gender inequality in New Zealand and globally. This makes it quite hard to focus on your main argument so it may be useful to delete any posts that do not relate directly this.

Patrick Scott: 2/05/2013

I think you have come up with some great ideas and you are producing a blog that I am genuinely interested in following because of this. Obviously you have made a lot of great points about children and their access to violent movies etc. Yes the rating system can stop underage people from viewing violent movies whilst they are showing at the cinema but when they are released onto DVD or available for rent I think it is up to the parents to decide whether they want to expose their children to such things. At the end of the day parents ultimately know their children and their responses. They are also responsible for ensuring their kids know the difference between right and wrong. I like that you have posted evidence to support your claims, however you have published a significant amount of your blog and are still yet to produce any hyper-links. Instead of producing in text references in your blog it could be useful to somehow turn this into a hyper-link directly to the evidence and then produce a reference list separately in one final post before the submissions date.

Ronal Reddy: 2/05/2013

I think you have come up with a great argument. You have made some very good points in regards to your topic. I completely agree with your statement when you mention that this is not just a problem for teenagers between 16-18 but also those of us between the age of 18 and 24. I was eligible to vote during the last elections but didn’t, simple based on facts that you have mentioned in your blog. Being given the opportunity to take part in choosing the next leader of our country is essentially quite a big thing. Politics like most young adults is a topic I know next to nothing about, if I were to vote it would most likely have been for all the wrong reasons. You backed up a lot of the evidence in your first blog post by making good use of hyper-links; it could be useful for you to use hyper-links in this post to give your argument some validity.

Alex Woodward: 3/05/2013

You have obviously put a lot of time and effort into your blog. It seems like you have already posted the majority of what you have to say. It could have been useful for you to have split this up into a number of different blog posts to follow more of a blog format; regardless I think what you have produced is great. You have made good use of your hyper-links, all of which provide great evidence to support your argument. Prior to reading your blog I really hadn’t put much thought into your topic, after having a look through your hyper link ‘list of the 50 greatest female characters in video games’ there is probably not a single character that I can even recognise. In saying this, it is blatantly obvious women are being poorly represented regardless of whether I have knowledge of their character. I think you have produced a great conclusion which sums up your argument nicely and I think you have done a great job in representing your topic in a consistent and logical way.

Matthew Samin: 6/05/2013

While you have produced some great points in regards the censorship of art it could be useful to add hyper-links into your post to make your evidence more viable. It is great to see that you obviously have a lot of passion for your topic.

Elsie Uini: 6/05/2013

I think you have produced a great blog. Like you I have no personal experience with beauty pageants, nor do I have any knowledge on the topic. When I think of beauty pageants I think ‘American’ and it seems like the topic is not very well known within New Zealand. In saying this I have heard of toddlers in tiaras and more specifically Honey Boo-Boo but I have never watched the show aside from the short clips you have provided in your blog. Something I did notice was that you haven’t actually incorporated your hyper-links into your blog. Instead of having them all within your sources it could be useful for you to arrange them where appropriate within your posts. This might make it easier for readers to link your evidence to their original sources.

Alex Woodward: 7/05/2013

Personally I think it was a great idea to redefine your topic in which it now covers just the sexualisation of woman. Obviously with such a small word limit it is hard to analysis a wide range of subtopics within your broader topic. I don’t have a lot of knowledge on the topic so for me, at least being able to focus on just the three posts you have provided it great.  They are each clear and concise, which makes it so much easier for viewers to read and understand.

Nicola Clements: 7/05/2013

Thanks for your comment Nicola. I realise that the statistics provided are a bit hard to understand. This is how they were presented in the survey they were originally from and I don’t want to risk them being misinterpreted by changing around the wording too much. However I will look into ensuring that they are a bit easier to read. 

Eden Rima: 7/05/2013

Thank you for pointing out that you didn’t bother to watch the video because it was too long. I did realise that the video was almost an hour long but didn’t think about the fact that viewers are unlikely to watch a video of such length. Because of this it probably does nothing to enhance my argument. I will look into finding maybe just a clip from this video to highlight the main points discussed in my blog.

Pretisha Reddy: 12/05/2013

Wow it seems like you have just decided to change your topic. It’s great to see you have managed to get so much information posted in such a short amount of time. It looks like you have already gathered a significant amount of information and I’m looking forward to seeing it all come together in your argument. You have a list of links posted; however it could be useful for you to arrange the relevant information throughout your blog using hyper-links. This is part of the assessment criteria and it will also be helpful for viewers like me to link your evidence back to their original sources.